After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
