I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Randomize
