She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
