I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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