I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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