Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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