I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize