Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
