can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
