I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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