i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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