i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
