I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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