the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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