how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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