she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
