is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
