Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
