We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
