As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
