dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
