Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
