I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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