just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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