go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
