Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Houston, we have a squirter
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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