Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
