32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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