thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
