I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
