I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize