i think my tv is drunk
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
