white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
