he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize