We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
