Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just invented taco cereal.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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