the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
