Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
