Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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