What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We need to get me chipped asap
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
