He is an equal opportunity slut.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My vagina just clenched in fear
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
