he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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