I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
