did you get engaged???
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
