Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The Olympian is in my bed
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
