he thought i was a dude.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
