there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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