My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
