I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
