I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize