he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I think people are normalizing furries
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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