i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
