He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
