So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
