I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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