So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
