oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
