I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
