Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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