I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
