i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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