she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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