i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
