I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Randomize