Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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