too bad you live with your parents still
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
