I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
