i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
