whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
